This is my first public declaration of my journey toward a new Black “masculinity”. A more inclusive, non-emasculating “masculinity”. In short, a “masculinity” that converges with “femininity” so that they are one. Frankly, I am beyond the rigid, or even not so rigid, ideas of manhood. So YES! Men can wear skirts, purses, and manolos. (Looking at you Morehouse.) Men can love other men both sexually and non-sexually. More importantly, men can openly and publicly express his love for all. Men need not be the bread winner (assuming one exists). Men do not use their physical strength to wield power nor dominance. Men are emotional. Men are vulnerable. Men do not use or view sex as a means of identifying nor dominance. Men do not vocally assert their “masculinity”. Men are not the opposite of women, and women are not the opposite of men. They are the same.
Without this transformation, Black America will cease to exists. Without this transformation, we will continue to adopt the rules of the oppressor, and I’m sorry to tell you, but this game us not made for us play. By reconstructing Black masculinity, violence against ourselves will decrease, if not cease all together. By reconstructing Black masculinity, we will reconstruct Black femininity since the two are joined at the hip. By reconstructing Black masculinity, we will address and end homophobia, sexism, and misogyny because these are intersectional. By reconstructing Black masculinity, we will no longer witness ABC and LA Times run “news reports” about Black folk love lives. Frankly, I can go on! I invite you all to discuss the affects of reconstructing Black masculinity.
Some ask, “why are you choosing masculinity and not femininity?” That answer is simple. I am male. With that maleness comes power and privilege. I cannot ask those who do not have my power and privilege to relinquish that of which they do not have. With that, there are only two ways for those with power and privilege to lose that power and privilege: by force or voluntarily. I chose to voluntarily relinquish my power and privilege, because I understand the greater good that will be accomplished by me doing so. Unlike many, I do not see me abandoning my power and privilege as a loss. Instead, I see it as a gain, and the gain is a selfish ne. Besides, force is always messing.
I write this because I am wish to make my journey toward a new masculinity public. I implore all of you do to the same – especially Black men. I want to be the litmus test that all Black men are measured; however, I cannot do this on my own. I need the help of the community. I ask you all of you to help me, and please understand that some twenty plus odd years of socialization cannot be undone overnight. This is a process. A process I want all of you to participate in and claim. PLEASE, check me when I am not properly challenging the preconceived notions of masculinity. PLEASE, illicit my faults with logic and my faults with action. PLEASE help. Our future relies on it.