De facto Dating

At a Black Skeptics Group meeting, I met a guy who, within two minutes of meeting me, managed to leave me flustered with one question: “What do you about dating?” I assumed – though he never specified – he meant Black women, since we were at a Black Skeptics meeting. As I skittishly looked away as if out of shame I said, “I don’t,” and before he could follow up with another question, possibly to ask about Black women or men, I continued my answer, “if you mean dating Black women, I don’t. I don’t date them.” I looked at the two Black women at the table as if I had betrayed them. Here I am, a late-twenties educated Black male, just the kind of Black male who is seemingly hard to find, and I say “I do not date Black women.” What perturbed me most about my statement was the fact that it was (and is) not the truth…well not the whole truth. It is more of a de facto truth.


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